A new type of rage

I was not going to write about this topic today, but due to circumstances and events I feel the need to have a good old rant. Umbrella rage!!

This rage is not as wide known and acknowledged as say road rage but trust me it is there. Today the rain is Sydney is torrential. It has been incessant for 14 hours causing all kinds of chaos. Some trains have been stopped, buses are taking ages to get anywhere because of diversions in place and more people being in their cars and umbrella rage is upon us.

An umbrella is a necessity, especially in weather like this, so you would assume that people would expect other people to be walking along with an umbrella as well. Apparently not. They assume that they are the only one clever enough to have thought to bring an umbrella out with them today and for this reason should get right of way. There are a few building sites around the city, with a scaffold walkway being used to allow people to walk past. As I’m sure you all  have walked under one of these before you know that they aren’t the widest walkways. You cannot walk around someone by stepping into the road, or walk in a line of 5 strung out across the road so thought must go into it. There is normally one single file queue of people going up one side and another single file of people going the other way, giving the people as much space as possible. Not, it seems when people have umbrellas. It is a free for all. People see a space and dart for it, not thinking that although their body will fit in that space, the umbrella they are carrying will not. Why do they care though. It’s not their forehead they will poke, they are not the ones that will get wet. You see their victims give them daggers as they get wet/knocked about, but the culprits just walk on as if nothing is the matter. I am pretty damn certain these are the same people that wear their sun glasses on the train or inside somewhere (please see earlier blog, shameless plug). I also would put a hefty sum of money on it that they would be the first to complain should it happen to them.

My favourite thing of all though is when you knock umbrellas with someone. They look at you as if you have just picked your nose and flicked it at them. It’s not as if you meant it to happen, but according to them you are not allowed to be in their space with your umbrella. They have the best umbrella and are the only person allowed to have one and who betide you who want to walk in the same vicinity as they are.

Another bit of umbrella etiquette is that you shake your umbrella behind you, as long as there is no one directly in line. Now yours truly was the victim of one such dickhead that thought it perfectly acceptable to shake her umbrella in front of her. Now thank god she didn’t get wet, that would have been a travesty and I would have felt awful, I am just so relieved that she made the back of my leg soaking. Look you fat turd just turn around, it won’t expand that much energy I promise, and the seat you are so desperate to have will not get up and run off the second you turn your back.

Now I know this problem isn’t limited to Sydney. I have seen umbrella rage in London too, but I have never seen it so up close and obvious as I have here. It is still raining outside, oh how I look forward to the fights and scenes of horror that await me as I go and get my lunch. That is the thought/rant for the day, tune in tomorrow for something else. Laters